Resiliency: The act of springing back, rebounding, or resiling. In other words, when you get knocked down, don’t stay down. Bounce back stronger than ever.
If you’re like me, you fell over and skinned your knees a bunch of times learning to ride a bike…that is, after the training wheels came off! It was tough trying to balance and steer at the same time, but after a while, it became second nature and falling over was a thing of the past. That’s resilience.
One of our sons has a landscaping business. He’s been at it for well over a decade and, like the promo business, a lot of his competitors are willing to cut their price to get the business. He continues to look for that sweet spot where price isn’t as important to the customer as trust, professionalism, and quality of work. As they say, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your princess or prince, and the same goes for finding the right type of customers. And that, my friend, takes a lot of resilience.
I firmly believe a person without resilience will rarely find the happiness or success they seek. Life is full of hardships and unexpected challenges and without the ability to bounce back, you’ll be like a cork on water, going wherever the tide takes you, essentially rudderless and directionless.
Nelson Mandela, the South African activist and their first democratically elected President once said, “Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” The question is, can we learn to become more resilient or is it a trait we’re either born with or not? Clinical psychologist Meg Jay doesn’t believe it’s either and says resiliency is the act of taking whatever life throws at you and coming back even stronger.
Resiliency is a skill you can enhance and develop over time and these strategies are a starting point to deal with the challenges life throws at you.
Embrace change: Accept the fact there are no guarantees in life and change is inevitable. In April of 2020, as Covid shut down the world, I was laid off from the supplier company I worked with, along with dozens of others. My world was shaken, and I had no clue what the future held. But rather than curl up and feel sorry for myself, I decided the time was ripe to launch the business my wife and I had been working on and embrace the new normal. Four-and-a-half years later I couldn’t be happier. When change happens; adjust your goals, celebrate small accomplishments, take action… and understand you’ve been presented with an opportunity to redefine your work and make a better life for yourself and your family. Yes, change is scary, but being resilient means using the new possibilities to up your game.
Nurture and grow your network: The first instinct many of us have when change is forced upon us is to close up and hide from the world. Don’t. Reach out to your network of family, friends, and peers and share what you’re feeling, Chances are that they’ve gone through something similar and will share the tips and tricks that helped them work through the difficulties they faced. These same people will oftentimes be the ones to help you find new opportunities, keep you moving forward, and not let you feel sorry for yourself. Look for ways to help others through volunteering, attend networking events, find classes to expand your knowledge base and remember, your friends, family and peers want to help and see you succeed.
Learn how others have overcome challenges through resiliency: Do these names ring a bell: Steve Jobs (Apple), Oprah Winfrey (media), Abraham Lincoln (politician), Richard Branson (entrepreneur), Sir James Dyson (vacuums), Thomas Edison (inventor), Walt Disney (film pioneer), Sara Blakely (Spanx)? What is it all these people have in common? They all failed multiple times before hitting it big, due in large part to their resiliency. Steve Jobs once said, “I’m convinced about half of what separates successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure perseverance.” In other words, when you fall down, get back up. Learning what these amazing people did when faced with traumatic changes in their lives can help you find the inner strength to bounce back. Read their stories and use them to reframe your own life and the possibilities ahead. Stuff happens and how we react to it will determine our future.
Understand life is the long game: Despite the short news cycles and changing social media trends we see every day, remember, our lives are growing increasingly longer. The choices you make today could have a big impact on your life 10, 20 or even 40 years from now. Being resilient to the changing times will help you make decisions now to build a foundation that serves you well into the future. J.K. Rowling of Harry Potter fame notes, “Rock bottom became the solid foundation in which I rebuilt my life.” Despite being utterly broke, a single mom, divorced and depressed, she used her resilience to continue writing the first Harry Potter novel, which was published in 1997. Her long game was an additional six Potter books, films based on the books and a move into adult novels. Her resiliency and view of life as a long game has made her one of the wealthiest authors alive and should be an inspiration to us all on using change to better yourself.
Take care of yourself: While it’s impossible to be stress free, it’s important to take care of yourself physically and mentally. Take time to exercise regularly, even if it’s just getting outside and walking in your neighborhood. Meditation, yoga, being grateful, and prayer are other ways to keep stress at bay along with spending time with family and friends. Cultivate your curiosity about the world, engage in positive self-talk and do things that make you happy. Be kind to yourself and know this moment in time will pass and the opportunities for you in this lifetime are limitless.
Being resilient doesn’t mean you will never face setbacks. What it does mean is you will be able to face them knowing this is but a moment in time and the future ahead is bright if you use this moment to reflect and re-evaluate.
Resilience is like a muscle that can be built up over time. The more you work it, the stronger it will become. The Japanese people are known for their resiliency and this six word proverb captures the essence of what it means to be resilient: “Fall seven times, stand up eight.”
May all the days of your life be filled with the strength to face changes and challenges and the resiliency to overcome them and find the success and happiness you deserve.